If This Was a Movie

Waterproof Words

I’m driving. I see you standing on the corner of the street. Yellow raincoat, clear umbrella, little black boots like something in a movie. This is the point when the camera would show a close up of your side profile, and the raindrops would rest on your eyelashes and you would blink and they would slide down your cheeks and look like tears. You would have a red, splotchy face. Matted hair.

I’m romanticising.

This is not a romantic moment.

The moon’s out, full and bright and dangling from the sky on a string like those old school theatre plays we used to do together. We dreamt that we’d play the leads some day, rehearsed the lines in my back garden like we were cast as Romeo and Juliet, but you were in the ensemble and I was villager number seven. This moon is not that moon, these roles are…

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“Where have you gone?” | March MH Update



So, at the start of the year, I promised to actually use this blog more often, and even though I haven’t stuck to that as much as I’d like to… I’ve definitely been doing better than before. One thing I mentioned I would do back then, though, was write more about me and how I’m doing, just as a means of tracking my mental state and my progress, and I won’t lie, I’ve been avoiding it. But since it’s the beginning of March already and I haven’t done anything on this topic since, I’m going to start doing updates every two months just as a sort of overview until I get more comfortable writing anything in more depth. Not like oversharing has ever really been a concern for me, but that’s besides the point.

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NON-SPOILER REVIEW: Everless by Sara Holland ⭐⭐/⭐⭐⭐

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In the kingdom of Sempera, time is currency—extracted from blood, bound to iron, and consumed to add time to one’s own lifespan. The rich aristocracy, like the Gerlings, tax the poor to the hilt, extending their own lives by centuries.

No one resents the Gerlings more than Jules Ember. A decade ago, she and her father were servants at Everless, the Gerlings’ palatial estate, until a fateful accident forced them to flee in the dead of night. When Jules discovers that her father is dying, she knows that she must return to Everless to earn more time for him before she loses him forever.

But going back to Everless brings more danger—and temptation—than Jules could have ever imagined. Soon she’s caught in a tangle of violent secrets and finds her heart torn between two people she thought she’d never see again. Her decisions have the power to change her fate—and the fate of time itself.

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The Joy of Giving


A post for two consecutive weeks! I can’t believe it.

This one’s a little different – I was trying a bit of a different style. Let me know what you think!

The hill our house was poised upon was steep, and curved inwards on one side, creating a shallow, sheltered cave halfway up. The hill, like everything around the house, was ours, and my parents had spent their lives doing all they could to keep me – and their tenants – out of that little cave, though for what reason, I couldn’t tell. I had spent my childhood assuming they were worried that I might fall from the mouth, or become injured where they couldn’t reach me, but I had climbed up to it often, and had come to no harm. My family was peaceful, and I had nothing to escape from, but the thought of a secret place all to myself was irresistible as a child.

When I was fourteen, of course, this peace was to end, when illness fell upon our house, leaving us all bedridden. I would soon recover, but my parents’ condition only worsened; it was not long after I received the news that they were not long for the world that I, seeking solace in my seclusion, went once again to the cave in the hill.

It took barely a moment, having pulled myself onto that ledge, to know that something was wrong. The air, usually light and pleasantly cool, felt stuffy and uncomfortably tight, as if not only the air but the space around me was being sucked into the blackness further in. The strange thing was, the cave didn’t go any further in; but this time the dead end of the cave wall, usually damp and glittering in the light at this time of day, was obscured by a darkness that made the cave seem deeper, an impossible tunnel to someplace I had a feeling I would rather not go. With every hesitant step forward I watched the cave walls at my sides swallow up the sunlight from my vision, but as my eyes adjusted, I realised that I was not alone.

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REVIEW: Forest of a Thousand Lanterns – Julie C. Dao – ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐


An East Asian fantasy reimagining of The Evil Queen legend about one peasant girl’s quest to become Empress–and the darkness she must unleash to achieve her destiny.

Eighteen-year-old Xifeng is beautiful. The stars say she is destined for greatness, that she is meant to be Empress of Feng Lu. But only if she embraces the darkness within her. Growing up as a peasant in a forgotten village on the edge of the map, Xifeng longs to fulfill the destiny promised to her by her cruel aunt, the witch Guma, who has read the cards and seen glimmers of Xifeng’s majestic future. But is the price of the throne too high?

Because in order to achieve greatness, she must spurn the young man who loves her and exploit the callous magic that runs through her veins–sorcery fueled by eating the hearts of the recently killed. For the god who has sent her on this journey will not be satisfied until his power is absolute.  (From Goodreads)

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Staccato Skies

Waterproof Words

Call me old fashioned, but I like to look at the stars. I like to imagine an existence beyond the limited confinements of our solitary rock. I like to count them in their clusters and laugh at how quickly I lose track of which I have counted and which I have not, to draw invisible lines between them in my mind. I like to think about the wonders that coexist alongside us. Of supernovas and black holes and oh, to think! How very insignificant we are! Fragile, fleeting, futile. Fricatives of the universe, harsh beneath the tongue. If I were to choose a sound for myself I would be the softness of the sibilants. I would sit among staccato skies and see the sun between seconds of silence. A solitary secret. A salacious song.

One day I shall sit upon the moon. I shall view our trivial planet from a…

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